Back to square.
POSTED ON Wednesday, 4 February 2015 AT 23:57 \\
“I deserve someone who actually gives a fuck about me because
 I’ve spent my entire life making other people happy when all they did was leave.”

Maybe I think too much, or maybe I over-analyse the situations. Or maybe that I'm not capable of understanding the true intentions of people. Or simply put, maybe I'm too oblivious towards the situations, naive to look past the feelings.

I haven't asked for anything in life, just someone who will understand, someone who won't leave. I don't ask for anything more, is that too much to ask for? Is that too big of a dream? Is it impossible to attain? All these questions go over my head whenever the thoughts of you fill my mind. I never expected certain things to happen, they just happened.
I don't really know how to put all of these feelings into words.

I have spent months trying to smile again, trying to laugh again. I have spent all my life trying to be happy. Now that I've finally started to get a hold of myself, please don't go crashing down on me again. I cannot be hopeful anymore, I'm too scared to be optimistic as things always end up breaking me, my hope into a million tiny pieces. My fingers are grazed from trying to piece them all back together, I cannot afford to try again. Please, give me strength.

You're not the one.
POSTED ON Monday, 2 February 2015 AT 02:24 \\
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm prayin' you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?